Relationships Part Two
So after a disaster with R, I made the concious decision to never, ever, have a non-kinky relationship ever again. So I meet C. C becomes a very, very intense part of my life. My friends, my co-workers, the website, I would introduce him to everyone and drop them all for him. I loved him. Or at least, I thought it was perfect and it was love. Well, it fell apart. All of my “character flaws” came out into all the reasons why he didn’t want to date me. I look back now, and I just saw that he was informing me of his own character flaws. What hurts most is that he has since proceeded to slander and abuse me long after we have finished. It’s gone as far as to affecting my professional life. (And to the one coworker I have who refuses to talk to me: Grow Up).
C taught me how I could never involve a romantic partner with the website. I also learned, though I have learned it again since, that I cannot live in a “kinky” relationship. Kink can be a part of it, but it can’t be all of it. For any partner I’ve met in a “fetish” or “kink” environment, I have found that they cannot fulfill my needs. Kink isn’t all my life is. I enjoy other activities and interest, quite a few of which have been my passions for many years. Then I thought to explore a poly lifestyle and see where that would take me. Next on the menu: six very interesting months of fun, heart ache, and one destroying ultimatum.